Steele: Down with the hoes.

First, the link, because I swear to god I could not make this up if I tried: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/02/19/rnc-chair-plans-off-the-hook-campaign-tells-critics-to-%E2%80%98stuff-it%E2%80%99/#more-40591

If I could make this crap up I could get a writing deal with SNL or something. You know how in the latest Disney/Nick/Pixar whatever animated movie they have one 'hip hop' type character with a random gold chain clock and a backwards cap? Apparently Steele is that, but for Republicans instead of talking cars or cows. *Insert joke about Republicans producing noxious gas here*

Remember how all those crazy racists said Obama was gonna 'thug out' the White House or something? Remember how he was gonna go Kanye on the country even though he never once acted in that manner? They literally just got a leader who vowed to do a milder version of that crap. It's funny because his plan seems to assume he's The Fresh Prince but in reality he sounds like a tall Carlton. (Don't judge me, Nick At Night is like the only thing that comes on here late night). I mean really: "Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele says his party is going to launch an "off the hook" public relations campaign that will update the GOP’s image by translating it to "urban-suburban hip-hop settings.""

He has no idea what those words in quotes mean, he just heard them at some point when he was flipping channels and decided that he's 'down'. It seems the Republicans literally think 'elect a black man' is like 'the' solution to things because of Obama. Remember how Obama reached out to urban communities by simply relating anecdotes and racial history? That's how you do it. You don't get up on a damn podium and go "We're gonna be off the hook!" and magically black people follow you. I really hope he thinks life is like a rap video where he can get up to a podium and pop the cork on some champagne and yell "WHOOOO" and suddenly black people will come charging into the room dancing, because if he keeps this shtick up he will be the most hilarious figurehead ever.

But alright, feeble attempt to appear 'with it' aside, why do I dislike this guy so much? Well, read this:"Steele described the new multi-platform PR offensive as “avant-garde, technically. It will come to [the] table with things that will surprise everyone — off the hook.” Asked whether that meant cutting-edge tactics, Steele demurred. “I don't do 'cutting-edge,’” he said. “That's what Democrats are doing. We're going beyond cutting-edge.”"

He's a damn phony, that's why I hate him. It's literally like he just opened a "PR for Dummies" book and highlighted buzzwords. In his whole plan the only tangible thing he said was the 'appeal to Urban-Suburb-Hiphopwhatever' thing, aside from that it was all just fluff like that. I have news for him 'reach out to minorities' isn't a 'beyond cutting-edge' thing, it's what every single RNC Head says, ever. That's like page one, paragraph one of the "Goals we will Never Reach" Pamphlet every RNC Head gets. What makes this best though is the sheer context of this.

Remember the "Barack the Magic Negro" stuff? Remember the guy who gave out CDs of that? That was Steele's biggest rival in the race, and that guy is still in good standing with the party. So yea, we have the guy who wants to reach out to urban communities, and also the guy who thinks "Barack the Magic Negro" is a great gift. They really don't grasp that you can't have both at the same time.